Existential Musings

"Why are we here?"

This is a question many of my friends and clients have asked themselves and often me over the years. Various musings, ponderings and reflections would follow. Some of the potential answers included "to achieve goals"; "to become better"; "to learn to love the earth or other people"; "there is no point, our existence is random."

What I will not do is tell you what to believe. What I will say is that the more I shift my focus away from old versions of myself so that I can expand my awareness and release my judgment, the more that I feel that we as humans are still working to figure it out. If we are here to achieve goals specifically, what happens when and if we finish dreaming them? What if we have worked hard and long on many dreams and now achieving doesn't quite feel satisfying? Where is the balance there?

If we are here to become "a better version of ourselves" does this mean that the end goal is perfection? I'm not sure that I can buy into any ideals regarding that particular life view because I find so much beauty in imperfections. Think about the last time you meant to do something "right" and a "happy accident" shifted the outcome. It may have turned out better than you imagined, so it was not your idea of the ideal. Or what about the flaws in ourselves? I am personally not great at finding directions but my friends like that they can help me get to places using natural landmarks, ("the big oak tree on the corner") because I love nature. Do my directional challenges make me less lovable? Certainly not. And it endears me to people who care about and wish to help me. What if we are designed to have flaws to build just that kind of connection and to give us the opportunity to let ourselves love who we are in a deeper way. It isn't very interesting to think about perfection, but it is interesting to think of a flaw in ourselves or another and find a way to create the perspective that holds love.

I would say that we are here to love the earth, ourselves and each other. Love seems to me to be the ultimate answer to most questions. "How can I get along with my partner/parent/friend/child?" "Love them." How can we help as caretakers for earth? We love the earth by taking many, connected, concerted efforts which stem from love.

The invariable thoughts we may notice regarding the randomness of life or the more doom-based reasons for our existence inevitably come up as we contemplate the reason for life on earth. I hear the understandable cries from people in my work who say, "why did this happen if there is a God?" It can be difficult to reconcile some of the events that can be experienced as profoundly negative and believe in a higher power or a Universal benevolent intelligence. The death of a loved one, war, chronic and fatal illness, car accidents, surgeries, houseless living, substance misuse, violence or abuse can fuel justification by people who then identify as agnostic or atheist or who abstain from labels, (no judgment here.) When these events happen, we have a choice. We can stop taking care of ourselves, shut down, and try and make our lives stop. Most of us who have tested this method recognize that life will continue to move forward whether or not we choose to participate in it. We may find ourselves in an even worse space if we push against the natural movement of life.

The other choice we have is to choose to love ourselves, take care of ourselves, seek support and eventually transform. When you are in pain it can be overwhelming to think about even the small things, such as getting enough sleep, drinking enough water, eating nutrients and moving your body. You can start there. Once you can do that most of the time, you can be vulnerable and share your needs with people who honor and respect where you are. You decide that you don't have to fake happy and you can say what is on your mind and in your heart. You may gravitate towards friends, family members, therapists, mentors or coaches.

This leads me to my current conclusion; that I am here on earth to learn, to be compassionate to myself and others, and to grow. Earth feels like a place in which situations will pop up and I am asked to respond to them with my mind, body and spirit. What will I think or believe about this thing that is here? Do I wish to see it in a curious way? Can I learn anything from the situation? How am I feeling about the challenge that came to me? Am I able to sit with my feelings so that I better understand and can release them? How will I act? Will I pause and reflect and make choices that feel aligned with my values and priorities? Will I react and then wonder why I caused myself extra turmoil? It is for us to decide and there is no "right" response when issues that feel hard inevitably present themselves to us. But maybe there is a way to experience more peace, balance, and ease.

Something I have learned about this life is that I am open to the idea that I may not be "right" about our existence or that my reason for being on earth may in some ways differ from yours. Check in with your own intuition. Why are you here? What is your reason? Are you able to see your reason in action? If not, what could you do to take one step forward in that direction.

I do believe that we are starting to be more open about why we are here, on planet earth, at this time, in our specific regions, situations, families and bodies. And that is very exciting!