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Let's Talk About Emotions: Overwhelm

Writer's picture: Ren Ren

Updated: Jun 13, 2024

I am feeling overwhelmed lately. When I feel overwhelmed, I start to forget things like returning messages to people I care about. I may forget the day or time of an appointment and have to scramble to accommodate it. I lose my keys and my phone, (sometimes my lost phone is in my hand. Is it just me?)


I also find myself reverting back to old habits. When I feel overwhelmed, I escape into hours of Instagram, baking shows or the Apple music browsing feature. I sit on my bed knowing that I have laundry that needs folding or a bathroom I told myself I would clean. I may convince myself that I could really use another piece of cheesecake and read one more chapter in that mystery novel on the couch. I am under functioning because I have sustained too much mental, emotional and physical energy for too long an am crashing.


Dr. Dan Sigel coined the term “Window of Tolerance” in order to describe the optimal arousal state of being. If we are functioning within our window of tolerance, we are able to manage our emotions, make thoughtful decisions and pretty much do the things we want to do. After we have experienced a trauma or chronic stress, the window of tolerance narrows considerably. Depending on the seriousness of the event or the impact upon our minds and bodies, that window has gone from large to small. A relatively minor stressor can trigger us out of our window of tolerance and we may experience disconnection, anger or anxiety leading to either a hyper or hypo arousal state.


HYPER AROUSAL STATE DEFINITION:

Hyper arousal may mirror the Fight or Flight response. Our nervous system kicks in and we become hypervigilant, constantly looking for problems or danger. We are on high alert and may not feel as if we have control over our actions. We may become triggered by emotions like fear, flashbacks to the traumatic event, or a perceived threat. Symptoms of hyper arousal states include: tense or tight muscles, angry outbursts, fear, panic, emotional overwhelm, anxiety thought spirals, or immobility. We may feel stuck on “GO” and have a hard time relaxing, sleeping or we may feel as if we may explode.


HELP FOR HYPER AROUSAL:

To decrease your arousal and increase your window of tolerance while experiencing this state of being:

  • Diaphragmatic breathing (deep and slow breathing from the belly)

  • Breath that mimics drinking from a straw

  • Throwing a medicine or a yoga ball at a blank wall or outside wall

  • Jumping on a trampoline, jumping rope, jumping jacks

  • Siting or laying under a weighted blanket

  • Drinking or sitting in warm water

  • Shaking or stomping out excess energy. Yes, shake your whole body, stomp the floor (or maybe go outside if you live above some one)

  • EFT or tapping, the emotional freedom technique. This is a combination of using energy centers in the body and affirmative self talk. Check out this video

  • Heavy work (lifting, pulling, pushups, gardening, building, etc.)

  • Calm/healing music and soothing and calming sounds like waves or rain

  • Comforting food (hot chocolate or something chewy but smooth such as a tootsie roll)

  • Releasing anger (see my Anger blog post)


HYPO AROUSAL STATE DEFINITION:

Hypo arousal is know as the shut down or “collapse” state of being. It may mirror the freeze response and we may feel stuck. It can be triggered by the same things as in hyper arousal: emotions, flashbacks, or perceived threats. Symptoms of hypo arousal include numbness, depression, burnout, emptiness, slumped body posture, blank stares, dissociation. In this state we may have moved into a Fawn or passive state that includes too much passivity, sleeping and isolation. We may feel socially withdrawn and unable to leave our homes or even our beds. Finding words is challenging in this state.


HELP FOR HYPO AROUSAL STATE:

To increase both your arousal and window of tolerance you can try:

  • Use grounding techniques that stimulate your senses and the body. I love this list: https://www.healthline.com/health/grounding-techniques#physical-techniques

  • Smelling essential oils (smell is the fastest way to the thinking brain)

  • Chewy and crunchy foods

  • Movement like kickboxing, weight lifting, biking, fast walking

  • Jumping on a trampoline or mini trampoline, jumping around obstacles or puddles

  • Gently sitting and bouncing on therapy ball (simulating rocking motion)

  • Rocking chair

  • Weighted blanket

  • Drawing and painting

  • Active breathwork

  • Dancing to upbeat music

  • Singing to a familiar favorite song

Based on what I am experiencing, I am in a hypo arousal state. I am going to try some grounding practices over the next few days to see if my overwhelm decreases.


I hope this helps.



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